Care in the Time of Collapse

I am trying to remember there is more than one way to live a life, to be a part of the things I love; to be a good nurse.

For me, being the best nurse I can looks like being casual (at least for now, with where I work, but maybe forever.)

For a career that was born from, and had long been steeped in, the ethos of self-sacrifice - it is a process to unlearn that this is not what I need to be, nor is it necessarily what makes someone a good nurse.

My nature is to help, to people-please, to excel - perfect prey for capitalism’s push to productivity and the endless grind.

I am trying to forgive myself for things I don’t need to be forgiven for. To allow myself the room that my best varies day to day. That my best is being a nurse in balance with my other passions in life (advocacy, offering my lived/living experience, photography and art where I can sometimes earn, but mostly have room to participate without needing to make these things into work.)

It is a privilege that I don’t have a family to support or a mortgage to pay, but that this is also an okay way to live.

There are so many ways to live beyond the narrow expectations of Western capitalistic culture that I grew up surrounded by. I am only learning this now, no longer chasing significance as the only measure of “success.”

The best nurse I can be is one in balance.

(Repeat ad nauseum.)

-S.