What I have learned (unlearned, or may still be learning) from the month of March…
Look up, look down, around, again and again. There is always more than meets the eye.
Trust runs as thin as threadbare carpet, as strong as silken spider web, and rivers that pull to the sea.
"You see, doors are many things: fissures and cracks, ways between, mysteries and borders. But more than anything else, doors are change. Thresholds are dangerous places, neither here nor there, and walking across one is like stepping off the edge of a cliff in the naïve faith that you'll sprout wings halfway down. You can't hesitate, or doubt. You can't fear the in-between. I hope to every god you have the guts to do what needs doing. I hope you will find the cracks in the world and wedge them wider, so the light of other suns shines through; I hope you will keep the world unruly, messy, full of strange magics; I hope you will run through every open door and tell stories when you return. It was a bright spring morning, full of promise. Most travelers are familiar with this kind of weather- when the wind blows westward and warm but the ground still chills the soles of your feet, when the tree buds have begun to unfurl and scent the air with secret springtime madness- and they know those days are made for leaving." (Alix Harrow, Ten Thousand Doors of January.)
Do not keep the fear of loss from letting yourself allow what is good to come to you, even if fleeting. Stand in the waves, be knocked over, and trust your weary legs to hold strength beneath you or get back up as many times as necessary.
To fledge is a risky business for "oh my darling what if you fall" and "oh my darling what if you fly" are not questions we can ever know the answer to before our feet have left the ground. More often than not, there is space for both to exist and one does not end the other.
Give yourself the peace others will never grant. Let expectation slip between your fingers and away with the wind - you cannot carry it forever. Even if your story lacks the evidence authority demands, it does not make any less true to you.
Ten thousand blossoms unfold in what seems a single breath of March, but maybe that is enough on the days when it is hard to know hope.
Build, nourish, and rely on treasured community where you find and continue to cultivate it.
There is a time to beat your head against the stiff walls of everything that has come before you, for better or worse. There is also a time to grow around existing structures, outside the realm of wasted energy. Where can your spirit be best spent? Knowing the difference of chosen battles is the work of your life.
Keep using your voice even when it goes unheard, written over, twisted and torn at the hands of others. It is yours and no one can ever take that truth away.
- S.
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