One of the best essays I have ever come across is Leslie Jamison’s “Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain” (in her book, “The Empathy Exams.”)
“That [demonstrably struggling] could render angst articulate... [While] we might want our wounds to speak for us, we usually end up having to speak for them.”
What is your soul actually craving? What need are you searching to soothe? What are your feelings in this moment where the urge to showcase your pain, to point to spot where it hurts without saying the words, feels overwhelming?
These are reminders I often return to when the habit of indirect communication feels like all I know. Maybe it once was, but I am no longer a child without words. My pain is real without demonstration and the only real way to meet a need is to voice it. It is not easy by any means, but we have our voices and we are capable of using them.
The same could be said for anger, which is harder to voice, easier to turn inward and inflict upon oneself.
These are things I am still learning.
-S.
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