Healing lies in the space between the initial thought, urge, impulse, or behaviour of the eating disorder, and our healthy selves. Expanding the space between our struggles and our healthy selves takes time, support, and practice.
Pushing at these edges of discomfort will feel foreign as we pave new neural pathways in our brains. The pull of our struggles will urge us back to familiar suffering over the fear of the unknown, like a strong current tugging at our feet, as we walk along the shore of this coastline of our healing journeys.
Trust you carry within you, the capacity to hold steady in your path (though it may be winding.) Trust that with time, the undertow will ease, the strength of the tide will wax and wane with the moon's pull, and the sureness of our feet beneath us will grow.
The only way through the pull of the illness, is by recognizing these thoughts and urges for what they are, and steering away each time we have the urge to follow them to where we already know they lead. There is nothing for us in those murky depths.
The only way for the thoughts to ease, is to turn away from them as many times as it takes. So when your struggles come calling with their familiar cries, hold tight to this reminder - that following them, furthers them.
This path is not easy, but with self-compassion, support, time, and practice, we can learn that this path is possible (no matter what that path looks like for each of us, what shape our struggles take, or how long we have faced them.)
We each have a role in walking this journey, or supporting someone along their way.
- S.
Comments